meimur

I’m leaving work early on Friday, May 8th, to fly to England and Scotland.  I’ll be returning May 17th.  I’m curious as to how this will affect my weight.  I honestly don’t know whether it will go up or down.  I’ll be doing a lot of walking, but I also won’t be working out or necessarily watching what I eat.  *shrugs*  We’ll see!

I’m not gonna lie, I’m pretty annoyed.  Here’s a run down of what’s been doing on the last few months.  

November:  I hit my goal of walking 10,000 steps a day.  I was happy with that, but decided to back down the walking to 7500 steps a day during December because my right heel had started hurting. 

December:  I somehow managed to miss that goal by a ton, but figured that since it was the holiday season, I wouldn’t worry about it.  It helped that I hadn’t really gained any weight back, even though I hadn’t been walking as much. 

January:  I ended up with that flu-like bug that was going around, and again missed the goal by a ton.  I had maybe gained a pound or two, but figured that was due to the holiday gorgefest.  I started the month around 233 and ended the month around 235.

February:  I met my step goals, but started gaining some weight, not much, just a couple pounds.  In the middle of February, my friend and I got a membership to a local gym, and I started going 3-4 times a week.  I expected to gain weight as I started building my muscles, so I really wasn’t a big deal to me when I gained 3-4 pounds, getting up to 237-238ish.  I was annoyed, but figured it would start going down once the muscle weight was established.

March and April:  Holy shit, look at the scale!  It keeps going up and up!  My weight is flirting with 242 some days!  WTF?  I haven’t changed my eating habits, and I’ve added in exercise.  Do the math, for fucks sake!  If you expend more calories then you what you put in, the theory goes that you should loose weight!  And yet, I seem to be doing the opposite!  Everyone I’ve talked to says that I should expect to gain 5-7 pounds of muscle right away.  Ok, I get that, but at what point do you have that muscle established and you start loosing weight?

My brother was home last week (I hadn’t seem him since Christmas), and he said it looked like I lost a lot of weight, which is great, not gonna lie.  The problem is, not only have I not lost weight, I’ve gained it, plus none of my clothes fit any differently.  I’m still in the same pair of 22/24 jeans as always, and the same XL/XXL shirts as always.  I’ve very frustrated!

Ok, I’m going to stop ranting, and go enjoy the day.  Hope everyone is doing well!

Accomplished!

I finally made it to 10,000 steps a day, and managed to average 10,199 steps a day through the month of November!  Now, while I’ve decided not to maintain 10,000 steps a day, I will not go back to doing nothing.  I’ve decided I will try to keep to a more attainable goal of 7500 steps a day.  Along with that, I recently purchased an exercise ball that has resistance tubing attached to the sides, so I plan to use that to work out my arms/back muscles that have pretty much been neglected ever since the place where I was doing water aerobics closed in August.

 I’m pretty proud of myself for sticking with it, and making it to my goal.  It got me off my butt, and outside a whole lot more then I’ve ever been.  I didn’t let rain, snow, or 90+ degree weather stop me from getting out there and working towards my goal.  Ok, yes it did, but it was only temporary day-long setbacks, and though I originally calculated that I would reach my goal in September, I’m happy with reaching it at all, even if it was in November!  In the process, I’ve even managed to shed about 15 pounds, not bad considering I really didn’t alter my eating habits all that much!

 Have a great holiday season!

This week started out good, on Monday (Labor Day), I walked the Mackinaw Bridge.  It is 5 miles from one side to the other, and I had never done it before.  It’s kind of one of those things that you do, and can mark off your 100-things-to-do-before-you-die type lists, but not necessarily something I’ll do again.

 Unfortunately, I hadn’t been planning to walk the bridge, so I didn’t take good walking shoes with me up to the cabin, so I ended up with two huge blisters, one on each foot.  After popping them (mmm, yum! *pukes*), they took their merry ol’ time to heal, and today is really the first day I’ve been able to walk normally.  The down side of all of this, is that while I went to water aerobics on Wednesday, I haven’t kept up with my walking goal all week so I could allow my blisters to heal.  I probably could have done my walking yesterday and today, but I slacked off, telling myself my feet still needed another day to heal.

Here’s to next week being better, and sticking to the routine!

I Know You, by Henry Rollins

I know you
you were too short
you had bad skin
you couldn’t talk to them very well
words didn’t seem to work
they lied when they came out of your mouth
you tried so hard to understand them
you wanted to be part of what was happening
you saw them having fun
and it seemed like such a mystery
almost magic
made you think that there was something wrong with you
you’d look in the mirror trying to find it
you thought that you were ugly
and that everyone was looking at you
so you learned to be invisible
to look down
to avoid conversation
the hours
days
weekends
ah the weekend nights, alone
where were you
in the basement?
in the attic?
in your room?
working some job?
just to have something to do
just to have a place to put yourself
just to have a way to get away from them
a chance to get away from the ones that made you feel so strange and ill-at-ease inside yourself
did you ever get invited to one of their parties
you sat and wondered if you would go or not
for hours you imagined the scenarios that might transpire
they would laugh at you
if you would know what to do
if you would have the right things on
if they would notice that you came from a different planet
did you get all brave in your thoughts
like you were going to be able to go in there and deal with it
and have a great time
did you think that you might be “the life of the party”
that all these people were gonna talk to you
and you would find out that you were wrong
that you had a lot of friends
and you weren’t so strange after all?
did you end up going
did they mess with you
did they single you out
did you find out that you were invited
because they thought you were so weird
yeah, I think I know you
you spent a lot of time full of hate
a hate that was pure as sunshine
a hate that saw for miles
a hate that kept you up at night
a hate that filled your every waking moment
a hate that carried you for a long time
yes I think I know you
you couldn’t figure out what they saw and the way they lived
home was not home
your room was home
a corner was home
the place they weren’t- that was home
I know you
you’re sensitive
and you hide it, because you fear getting stepped on one more time
it seems that when you show a part of yourself that is the least bit vulnerable
someone takes advantage of you
one of them steps on you
they mistake kindness for weakness
but you know the difference
you’ve been the brunt of their weakness for years
and strength is something you know a bit about
because you had to be strong to keep yourself alive
you know yourself very well now
and you don’t trust people
you know them too well
you try to find that “special person”
someone you can be with
someone you can touch
someone you can talk to
someone you won’t feel so strange around
and you found that they don’t really exist
you feel closer to people on movie screens
yeah, I think I know you
you spend a lot of time daydreaming
and people have made comment to that effect
telling you that you’re “self-involved” and “self-centered”
but they don’t know, do they
about the long nightshifts alone
about the years of keeping yourself company
all the nights you wrapped your arms around yourself
so you could imagine someone holding you
the hours of indecision
self-doubt
the intense depression
the blinding hate
the rage that made you stagger
the devastation of rejection
well
maybe they do know
but if they do
they sure do a good job of hiding it
it astounds you how they can be so smooth
how they seem to pass through life as if life itself was some divine gift
and it infuriates you to watch yourself with your apparent skill,
and finding every way possible to screw it up
for you, life is a long trip
terrifying and wonderful
birds sing to you at night
the rain and the sun
the changing seasons
are true friends
solitude is a hard won ally
faithful and patient
yeah, I think I know you

Along with slowly making my way to 10,000 steps a day, I’ve recently started riding my bike again. Now, it’s nothing fancy or new, just my mountain bike that I’ve had since I was at least in junior high, so it’s approximately 14-15 years old. It’s still in good, shiny shape though, and it does the job.

The back of my apartment building has a little covered porch (basically big enough for the door, and a person to smoke in outside of the rain). When not in use, I’ve had my bike parked on this little porch. Before I started using my bike (in fact, before I ever even brought my bike to my apartment building from my parents house), a kid who lived in another apartment had his bike in the same place for the last year, until his family moved out a month ago. Neither of us ever locked our bikes, not that there was anything to lock them too.

At some point on Thursday, my bike was stolen. Went to work around 7:40am, came home around 9:00pm, and it was gone. A police report was filed, although I doubt anything will come of that. Reason #6535 why I hate people. Bah, shit!

 In other news, I’m up to 8700 steps a day, still doing water aerobics, and pretty much stalled in the weight-loss department.  Oy!

It’s been a while since I posted on here.  I’m still around, I still weigh in on Saturday nights, and I’m still doing the water aerobics and walking.  In fact, as of yesterday, my yearly total of steps exceeded the 1 million mark.  1,004,169 steps a of last night to be exact.

 Wow!  Who knew?!?  And if I continue on at the rate I’m going, I’ll easily exceed the 2 million mark by the end of the year!  Holy crap that’s a lot of walking!  I wish I knew how many steps I took a year before I started this little walking experiment of mine to have a comparison.

That’s all I’ve got, hope everyone is doing well!  Have a great weekend!

Alright, vacations are done with for a while.  Back to the weight loss.  Hopefully I’ll have a little extra money this month, and I can start seeing a nutritionist who works at the place I do my water aerobics.  I really need to get the eating under control.

This really has nothing to do with BS stuff, but if you ever travel in the midwest…DO NOT USE MEGABUS!  I took it from Chicago, IL to Toledo, OH yesterday, and a trip that should have taken 4.5 hours at most, took 11 hours!  11 freakin’ hours.  We were supposed to arrive at 8:40pm yesterday, instead we got in at 3:00am this morning.  Needless to say, I went in late to work.  I’m going to bed now.

 Have a great week everyone!

Headed to Myrtle Beach, SC in a few minutes, just thought I’d check in before I left seeing as how I haven’t written in a while.

 Unfortunately, I didn’t shed the 10 pounds I was hoping to lose.  Hell, I didn’t even lose 5 pounds.  Oh well, at least I’ve stayed pretty steady weight-wise, and haven’t gained any!

I don’t know what kind of internet access I’ll have while on vacation, so I may not be able to weigh in tonight.  If I can’t, then it’ll be next Wednesday.

Have a great long Memorial Day weekend everyone!

So last weekend I had a cold from hell brought on by allergies.  Thankfully, I’m better now, mostly.  I still have the coughing….like spontaneous convulsive coughing fits that I wish would go, but at least I’m not feeling like death.  It’s funny, I got sick on that Wednesday and from then until last Sunday night, I lost a total of 5 pounds.  Then, Monday when I actually felt human again, I gained all 5 back.  Whoops!  Heh…I wondered why I felt slightly nauseous all day, I’m betting that’s the reason right there!

 Aside from when I was sick, I’ve been meeting my walking goal (6200 steps) everyday, and I’ve been doing water aerobics 2 times a week.  Unlike most people, weekends tend to be my best weight-loss days.  I think this is mainly because I do enough walking to get to my step goal, then I do absolutely nothing else all day.  Seriously, I don’t even want to get up to get something to eat.  My weekends are my ‘me time’, and ‘me time’ means lazy-do-nothing-at-all time.

I leave for Myrtle Beach in 3 weeks, think I can shed 7 more pounds in that time?  We’ll see!